I could. I could rock them until my legs went numb. I could cup their little, sweaty heads in my hands and kiss their perfect little necks for days. I could count the beats of their little hearts beating an inch away from mine until I ran out of numbers. Sometimes, I plan on it. (Until it gets to be creepy...which it would, eventually.)
Nobody said that starting as a new nurse would be hard. Or stressful. Or that, now that school is over, there would ever be any stressors again. Stupid oversight. And I'm not really one to stress...at least not outwardly. And I'm stressing. So I hold the babies. All three of them. And we sing and giggle and it helps...sort of. But then, I realize that I really can't hold them forever. And that just makes me sad. If ever a mother loved her kids so much that it's almost painful, I do. Even crazy-pants Leo.
Recently, we went to CVS (that could be any given day. We frequent CVS.) With the Valentine candy and toys over-flowing, the boys were bouncing off walls, hoping they could get something. Anything. As I was trying to get them to focus long enough to get into the car, an elderly lady was walking out the door with us. "I'm so glad you brought the boys in today. Your family always makes me smile." Hold up. My family? No. And they make you smile? Sidenote: Do we know each other? Keep in mind, that I was literally sweating...in winter...from lasso-ing little boys, and I burst out laughing. Not a polite, thank-you-so-much laugh, but a full-on belly laugh. "They make me smile, too. Thanks for making my day!" I assume, from the 100 times I've heard, "Oh God. How do you do it?", that people are generally horrified by our little circus. It's nice to know they aren't. Well, not all of them, anyway. Because, as nutso as these little boys of mine are, I wouldn't trade them for anything. At the end of the day, someone calling me "Mom" is what makes me the most happy. That, too, I could listen to forever. (Just not on repeat. I can't handle that.)
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