Break-Through

It's interesting to me that, less than 48 hours after admitting that I have major short-comings when it comes to being Leo's mother, I feel as though I have had a breakthrough.  Now, that is not to say I feel like I'm in the clear, but that we are at least heading somewhere.

A while ago, I posted something about how my advice to people when they are unhappy with something is to fix it.  I tried to follow my own advice.  And, as fixing things tends to start with fixing one's self, that's what I have tried to do.  My approach, admittedly, is terrible.  (I fear that I sound all-knowing when I start these posts.  Let me assure you that I am not.  I'm just really trying to figure all of this out.  Having three really different kids means that I have to learn how to be three really different types of mothers.  It's confusing to me, too.)

Going on:

So, according to all the research I did (see previous post), there are some tactics for dealing with strong-willed kids that are supposed to work.  I am not good at these.  However, I tried to make myself good.  For the last two days, I have stopped the multi-tasking and really tried to hone in on the kids.  1.) Favor to myself.  2.) Favor to the kids. 

When it comes to Leo, he really does need a calm and firm approach.  I can't say I'm the best at that with him.  But I've gotten better, at least in the past two days.  Here is what happens:  Leo breaks down.  I ask him (calmly) to sit in his room until he is done.  He goes, pouts, maybe screams at me for a few minutes and throws a few books.  It goes quiet.  I hear a few sniffles, and then, "All done, Mommy.  All done."  (If I could add sounds effects here, I would.) 

This worked like a freakin' charm the first day.  Today, he backlashed a little bit, but I stayed firm...and calm (though I too felt myself slipping.)  His tantrums in his room are becoming shorter and (huge success) he has gone to bed on time three nights in a row.  Three.  This is (and I hate this word) epic. 

I would be an idiot to think that we're all cured.  However, I feel as though we could be on the verge of a turn-around.  Not that I would turn this little Lion into a calm, easy-going, little hippie baby, but I wouldn't want to, anyway.  I love Leo's intensity, his strength, passion, etc.  It's who he is, but we have to start learning how to work with each other and not against each other, and we may be getting there.

I felt as though giant strides were made this morning when I woke up to just two of us occupying our bed (the only two who should be.)  I almost couldn't believe it, and then it dawned on me that someone probably kidnapped the kids overnight.  Doesn't every mother think that at some point?  I snuck out of our room to check.  There, on the couch, were two little boys, curled up around each other.  Their room was empty, but, then again, so was ours.  Not a complete success, but we are getting somewhere.  Finding my zen, finding my zen...