Leo vs. Patrick

I just realized that I have similar cell phone pics of both of the boys, both at three weeks old. They DO look like brothers. Here they are:

LEO



PATRICK

May

I can't believe how quickly this month has gone. I love May, and it's almost over. We've had such a great kick-off to the summer, though, so I'm looking forward to a good one, despite already being at the end of this month. Here are some pics and highlights from this month:

Mother's Day with the Walden/Marsh families:






ASC Winery trip:





The Rookie Run (our team finished dead last...next year might be better):







This weekend brings us Miss Nina's 2nd birthday party, too! Hooray for May...and a bittersweet hooray for Sweet Baby Leo being a month old on the 30th. I wish I could just keep him this little, but it doesn't look to be working out.

The Uglies of Postpartum

I have to preface this by saying I love my kids. I do. I hope that's apparent, but just in case...please know that I love them and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Literally.

That being said, there are uglies associated with having kids that, although I swear I would not become fixated on, I have. Well...not fixated, per se, but a little discouraged. (This might get a little grossy-gross for anyone reading this who isn't really into bodily functions.)

Shortly after Leo was born, I was introduced to the girls; new and enormous. Thanks to a couple of weeks for my body to adjust, plus some cabbage leaves (that really does work), plus any variety of bagged and frozen veggies in the freezer, the swelling has gone down. However, I know from experience that the twins are here to stay for a little while, and I just need to come to grips with that. If I were smaller-chested to begin with, I'd probably love it. But I'm not. And I don't. They're huge.

I'd like to think that they have something to do with the 9 pounds I have left to lose...but I am certain they're not responsible for all of them. Ugh. Leo did me a favor and gave me my booty back, but also gave me thicker thighs and wider hips. Truth be told, I am not devastated by that, though...I don't mind too much. My jeans fit...tightly, but they fit. I did put on my 6's the other day. It could be worse. However, 9 pounds? Right at the start to the summer? Nine is uncomfortably close to ten and that is just...not...awesome. Delusionally, I imagined I would get back to my pre-pregnancy weight within a month of Leo's birth. He'll be a month in less than a week, and that is just not happening. For sure.

As if nine months of watching our bodies change and expand isn't enough, we have stretch marks (I have a nice new one right next to my belly button), bleeding, scars, engorged parts, and wet shirts to contend with. Some women even lose some of their hair shortly after childbirth. It doesn't seem fair. The good news is that it all goes away and things go back to normal, which means that quite a few of us choose to do it again...and again. In a few months, I hope that I forgot how all of this went. Chances are, I will, and I'll be asking Adam when he wants to consider #3
(no worries...already decided that it won't be on the table again until Sept. '11).

It does suck a little to deal with the body uncomfortabilities of the postpartum period, but it's all worth it. I know that. Of all of the goings-on of pregnancy, this part is my least favorite. I'm sure it has something to do with the strong, strong desire to be back to normal. My pregnancy went so fast that I really barely remember being pregnant. Weird, isn't it? I feel like I should be back to normal NOW. I know that I just need to remind myself that it won't be like this forever. One day, these kids will be grown and maybe I'll remember waking up with wet t-shirts fondly. In the meantime...sigh...

Life With Two

I am amazed and pleasantly surprised how flawless Leo's short time home has been. I was given plenty of warning from other mothers about the adjustment from one child to two. Certainly, there is a bit of an adjustment. I have to carve time out of the day for quality one-on-one time with Patrick. I have to make time for quiet alone time with Leo. Adam and I need time to ourselves and time as a family. Overall, it's a lot of time. That being said, it's not hard at all. I am really, really enjoying this time at home. Leo is such a perfect addition to this family that the "adjustment" has felt very little like one.

I cross my fingers that it stays, but Leo has been sleeping a six-hour stretch every night for the past week. When he gets up at night, he eats and is right back down. I don't feel like I am sleep-deprived. I have time for groceries, cleaning, and everyday life stuff, very much unlike the first few weeks at home with Patrick. With the first, the change in lifestyle hit us so suddenly and blindly. We knew what to expect, but not at all what it would actually be like. It didn't take long to get into a routine, but we didn't really have much of a choice. Patrick needed it and we had to figure out how to make it work. Perhaps Patrick's need for order and a schedule has really helped us out with his little brother. We know how to organize our time with the kids. It's working out fabulously.

Leo's first trip to the doctor was on Thursday. He was back up to his birth weight and had grown in length a 1/2 an inch. He's a LONG little guy. No wonder he felt so low. Patrick was very concerned with the doctor touching his little brother. He asked her name and that she please not touch his little brother. He also reminded her that he was not her Leo. He asked her not to touch his ears please. She took him very seriously and let him sit up on the examination bed with Leo so that he could watch everything that she was doing. While he was visibly still very uneasy, that helped Patrick to warm up to the doctor touching his brother.

Shortly after, Patrick learned that his beloved Grandad was a doctor. I can't believe I never told him. According to my mom, Patrick and my dad spent a significant amount of time going through his black bag (he really does have one) and looking at all of his doctor tools. I bet the next trip to the doctor for Leo is going to go completely differently.

I don't want these boys to grow up. Is that a horrible thing to say? I love their ages and I just want to freeze time. I think taking this summer off is the best decision that I have made in a while. I'm happy that I get to enjoy this time. At this point, I wouldn't trade it for anything, ANYTHING, and I don't really see that changing. My life with all of these boys is heaven. I told Adam we could add another boy if he wanted, but he told me to slow my roll. Point taken.

That being said, it's now 3:30 in the afternoon and I haven't showered. So...even though I have time for the "life stuff" doesn't mean that it always gets done. I should probably hop on it before the kids get up from their naps. God bless naptimes.

Finally, I feel like I have a moment to update, though I quite literally have a sleeping baby in my lap and a wound-up toddler scaling my back, trying to get to the sleeping baby. I'm a lactating jungle gym, I feel.

Yesterday was Leo's due date and Mother's Day. I can't help but to continue to feel amazingly blessed. As we settle into a daily routine, Patrick continues to be wonderful with his brother, though he is still super-sensitive and very clingy. We sat down and had breakfast together this morning, and he insisted that I carry him everywhere (I didn't) or that he sit on my lap. He has been really good about the adjustment, however. He's sweet and loving to Leo, and compliments him all day long on being so cute and "sweep" himself.

Leo is now ten days old and the calmest, sweetest baby. He made the most noise he ever had yesterday with a house full of people, but overall he's still pretty quiet. He likes to be held close, whether he's awake or sleeping. I know I shouldn't do it, but I just can't help it. I was never this softy-softy with Patrick. Maybe now I just understand how quickly this time goes. It was over with Patrick before we even had a chance to soak it in. Then again, Patrick was born a tiny adult and didn't really stay a "baby" for very long. Since conception, he's done things the Patrick way. He's odd and wonderful like that.

Recovery is going well. I am still sore from time to time, but I feel remarkably active. Life with two seems to be easier than life with one. It sounds strange, but so far, that's the case. I stepped on the scale yesterday, just like I swore to myself that I wouldn't. I had ten pounds to go. I stepped on the scale again today, and now I have nine pounds to go. I'm really hoping that it just continues to come off, though I promised myself that I wouldn't get bent out of shape about it. It'll be a conscious effort.

Here are some pics from the delivery room and immediately after. You can see that Adam was pretty beat. He got to sleep for a few hours before we started pushing, so he literally had just woken up when the first picture was snapped. (I look awake, but I was running on adrenaline. The all-nighter hit me very hard later on that day.)

**NOTE: The aforementioned wound-up toddler just shoved a pretzel goldfish in one of the USB ports of the laptop on which I am working, crushing it inside the computer, without me even noticing. That's what I get for trying to tune him out.

NOTE

Oops..I think it goes without saying that Leo decided on his own to do a little flip prior to delivery. One quick ultrasound in the triage room prior to being admitted. confirmed that our little man was again head-down. Atta boy, Leo.

We Had A Baby

IT'S A BOY!

Leo Alexander Walden was welcomed into our lives at 7:34am on Friday, April 30th, 2010. He was 8 pounds, 7 ounces and 22 1/4 inches long. He's absolutely perfect. In fact, those were the exact words I whispered the first time I saw him. I am still awed to tears that we are as blessed as we are. I am forever indebted for these gifts that we have been given.

Thursday night, I was putting together my Patient Care Plan and drug cards for clinical on Friday. About 10pm, I started to get contractions again, but it wasn't the first time. They really didn't hurt, but were noticeable. About midnight, I started to time them. At 1 am, they started to hurt and I put my work down. I suddenly became very restless. I had so much to do, it seemed. I told Adam that we might be going to the hospital. He was remarkably calm. By 2am, my contractions were just under 3 minutes apart and very painful. We woke up Patrick and went to the hospital. We were admitted about 2:40 and Leo was born about 5 hours later.

His delivery was flawless. No pitocin again, a definite epidural (which kind of wore off at the end, but it ended up not being too bad), and a few more pushes than it took to get Patrick out and he was here. I was the only patient in delivery that morning, and the entire staff was in and out of my room at some point, it seemed. I delivered right at shift change and I heard that the staff from the night shift were standing outside of my door waiting for the news when Leo was born. I was touched.

I watched Adam's face as our new son was born. I saw a look on him I don't think that I have seen before. It was such pride and humility that it brought me to tears. Adam was silent. As the doctor laid Leo at the foot of the bed, I still could not see him. I had no idea the sex. I tried to get Adam's attention, but he was glued. He had one tear running down each side of his face and he was just staring. Finally, he leaned down and whispered, "Catie...it's a boy." His voiced choked a little. He was euphoric.

Leo is beautiful. Dark hair (not too much, but enough), darker complexion, long fingers, toes, and feet. He's perfect. I can't say it enough. He is. He's about as sweet as he can possibly be, wanting nothing more than to snuggle all day. He's very laid back and content. He loves his mother.

I'm in love. All over again, I am in love. I was really anticipating a girl, but I am thrilled beyond explanation with this new bundle of blue. Our first few days have been bliss. I feel great. I'm still soaking it in. We're a family of four. It seems like my pregnancy ended so abruptly, but it's ok. I have this little dream family and I almost can't believe it. More to come.