Ooh, and because I like it...

...here is the subject matter for which I am responsible pertaining to this last exam. I am a pharmacological moron, so wish me luck. Send me prayers, voo-doo, hocus pocus, ANYTHING you think may work. I just might need it. I hope not, but one never knows.

2 Finals Down

Two finals down and one to go. One more clinical day (for sure). There is the end of my first semester of nursing school. It's only been a few months, but it's been eye-opening, at the least. I really do enjoy it. Once terribly scared of needles, I drew blood today, AND allowed myself to get stuck...twice. Oddly, I liked it. I kind of looked forward to it. The same went for my first injection a few weeks ago. It was strangely fun to do. I got a little rush. Maybe it's knowing how far I've come or the self-satisfaction of doing something I swore with all of my heart that I would never be able to do, but I am very proud. Very. Really...I feel like a kid again.

My due date is approaching and I have a confused little baby. Once in a comfy head-down position, it decided sometime between Friday and Monday to flip, completely unbeknownst to me. How I managed to miss that, I will never know. I was shocked. I went to the hospital on Monday for a version procedure, which was easily the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. Ever. And that includes childbirth. Read that again: I would rather have a whole child physically removed from my body than have someone try to manipulate it from the outside to make it turn. It doesn't sound too bad, and maybe it isn't always. I know, however, that having it described to me as "an uncomfortable procedure" was much like saying that a decapitation would cause a bit of a mess. A total lie. There are my two cents. (NOTE: The version did not work. The baby's head would move a little, but it's butt, nestled securely in my pelvis, was not going anywhere. I ended up bruised and very sore for nothing. It was worth the effort, though.)

I survived, though, and the baby is fine; a little pissed off that day, but fine otherwise. Frankly, I'd be pissed, too, if I was getting shoved around in the dark by some mysterious force. Let's hope we didn't scar it for life. If this one has an innate fear of the dark, we're going to know why.

My professors have been absolutely wonderful in helping me get my finals out of the way in preparation for a potential C-section next week. I couldn't ask for more. What seemed initially like a no-budge exam policy has been tweaked slightly to allow me to continue in the program without much of a hang-up. I will forever be grateful, and I mean that.

The countdown is on. We're ready. Ok, no, we're not. But we will be. Eventually.

Dear Baby...

My dear baby-

Two weeks to go until you're officially due, though I am starting to hope I get to meet you sooner, even if the consequences throw a wrench into our life right now (school-wise, that is.) You sent us to see the doctor on Friday, thinking that we were going to meet you that day. Obviously, we didn't. That hurt a bit and so I propose that we not do that again.

As a result of that trip, however, I realize how 1.) excited and 2.) ill-prepared we are. I don't know why, but I envision you as quieter than your brother, with dark hair, and a more low-key attitude. When we went to the doctor on Friday, you were sound asleep. Three times, they had to "zap" you before you would wake up, and even then, you fell asleep again right away. I hope that's a good sign that you're a sound sleeper like your big brother.

I do love you immensely already. I go to bed thinking of you and I wake up thinking of you. I am nervous and overly-excited at the same time. I wonder what your name will be and what your little personality will be like. Will you look just like Patrick? What will you smell like?

Come when you will, but come quickly and don't make us wait too long. Your daddy and I grow more excited to meet you every day. Your brother, on the other hand, has no idea what's about to hit him. He'll figure it out, though, and he'll love you just as much as we do...eventually, I'm sure.

I hope you're warm and cozy and that your little face isn't too squashed in there. Thanks for not clawing at me any more this weekend, I appreciate it whole-heartedly.

With love,
Mommy

Photo Reflection

I have been meaning to post this picture. As the weeks until I am due are coming to an end and I'm wondering how I can possibly grow any more, I simply need to take a look at this pic, taken 4 days before Patrick was born, or more specifically, the day before he was due. Eesh. I guess I should count my lucky stars I am not this big...yet.

37 Week Appt

My appointment today, a Monday ritual, it seems, went fabulously. Despite the fact that I have now gained 27 pounds, there is a good chance that that should be it. At least I hope so. Good Lord. I hate this part. I know that sounds so silly and vain, but it's hard to watch the scale continuously move up. It's not fun. Otherwise, things are moving along, albeit slowly, but that's kind of what we need. I am about 60% effaced and 1 cm dilated, which was a bit of a surprise. With Patrick, I did not progress at all until I was in full-on active labor, and I just kind of expected the same this time around. Granted, 1 cm is not much, but the effacement progress is a little exciting. The baby is low, low, low, it feels.

I saw my sister's doctor today, a member of the same practice. Both of my usual MD's were out of the office, and it was nice to finally meet him. What's great is that he thought I was my sister, who he saw just a couple of months ago. He seemed so confused to walk into the exam room and see a pregnant "Colleen." His reaction? "WHOA! What happened to you?!" A little explanation from me and embarrassment from him, but he figured it out.

I looked at the calendar today and realized how close the 9th is. I just hope that I can get through what I need to before the baby is born and enjoy the next few weeks off. I'm still toying a little with the idea of taking the summer off, but I will see how I'm feeling toward the end of May and what the baby's temperament is. I have an inkling that this one is a little more laid back than his/her brother, but I could be wrong. The difference between a July graduation date and a September graduation date really isn't much, so a part of me will be inclined to just take the extra time off. Then again, I have this tendency to want things NOW, and getting this whole program over with is no exception. I have absolutely no idea which side of me will win, and I'm not making the call until the very last minute. For now, I am trying to just focus on what I need to in order to pull off this semester. Fingers crossed.

Three more weeks to go...

Three more weeks until Baby Nameless gets here (presumably). It barely seems possible. I'm really torn as of today if the feelings of let's-just-have-this-baby-already outweigh the please-stay-put-until-the-end-of-the-semester thoughts. I guess the latter wins, not that it matters. This baby will come when it's good and ready and, if it's anything like Patrick, it'll come right around it's due date...which will work out just fine.

In preparation for our newest life change, Adam and I headed out of town to Nashville for the weekend; just the two of us, and it was fabulous. Truly. Fabulous. Despite our occassional date nights, an uninterrupted weekend together was a nice little refresher. We really do have fun together. Our regular days are fun, but mostly work/Patrick centered. We had two days of us and it really couldn't be matched. I still feel like I'm glowing (and kind of am...the sun was out and we had a convertible. We both got a little sun.) I am a little sad to be back, but also a little excited to tackle the next few weeks and get it over with. Then...baby time.



Above: Me outside of our B & B
Below: Adam outside of our B & B (naturally)



Just before the greatest Train Tour of Brown County, complete with a trip through the parking lot of the Comfort Inn:


Prepping to return the car that my in-laws were gracious enough to let us borrow:



Finally, a very tired me, 37 weeks along:

I don't know how my stomach is going to get any bigger.

35 Week Dr. Appointment

I got to visit my primary OB yesterday, which was a treat. She and her nurse are fabulous. Unfortunately, our schedules aren't really meshing this round and we haven't had too many appointments together. A part of me hopes that she'll deliver this little one, but, then again, if it were her or Dr. P. (who delivered Patrick), I'd be happy as a clam. They're happy, right?

As of yesterday, things are good. The baby looked great on the Non-Stress Test (NST), and the heart rate ranged from 135-170. Lots of movement, and 7 (non-painful and presumably non-productive) contractions measured in 25 minutes. S/he's dropped a little, which I kind of already knew. If I'm walking and get a contraction, the pressure is pretty remarkable. It feels much lower all of a sudden. One month to go, which seems very close and very far away at the same time.

General Update

Two weeks have passed since I last posted anything. The more time that goes by, the harder it is to try to think of how to sum it up. As I sit here, on Easter night, I'm forcing myself to do it, as to not just fall further behind. Here is a summary of life at the Waldens:

1.) I turned 30 on the 20th. 30! I really wasn't bothered by it much, but to reinforce that, here is what I have learned: 30 feels just like 29, which feels a lot like 28, 27, etc. I guess, over time, things have gradually changed, but certainly not overnight, just because I celebrated another birthday. Adam, bless his heart, got back from a business trip the night of my birthday. Because he had planned on flying in much later, Colleen had already planned a dinner at Oceanaire with my mom (which was truly delicious...halibut with morels and orange...fabulous.) We picked up Adam from the airport, and he hopped in the car with a "Happy birthday, Mama!" That was it. No card, no flowers, just the verbal recognition. Admittedly, my feelings were hurt. The next day, we were supposed to have a family day, but he got busy. I was very hurt...so I cried. Like a baby. As it turns out, he planned a little weekend getaway for us as birthday surprise. Because of my tears, he had to tell me early. I felt like an a-hole. I realize I was being a baby. To make it worse, the next weekend, as I was out getting a pedicure with my sister-in-law, Adam filled the house with food, balloons, friends and family, and I was absolutely floored to come home to a surprise party. He wins. He's good at the birthdays, after all. It was great. I'm still shocked. I love him. It was a great birthday, and I still have a massage, pedicure, appt. at the Naked Monkey (post-baby), and that weekend getaway to look forward to. Not shabby, right?

2.) Patrick is a little mobile beast, despite his cast. One more week to go, and it comes off. I think he might miss it a little. He took a few steps last night on his own, though now he won't really do it without some encouragement and a hand to hold him steady. We watched the Riggs boys last night and I was so proud of how well Patrick did with little Jimmy (5 months.) He helped to soothe the baby, feed the baby, love the baby. I was so impressed, until Jimmy was holding my hand as I was giving him his bottle. Patrick got so upset and started saying, "Don't do that, baby! Don't hold her hand! She's not your Mommy!" Great. Let's hope that's not life in a few weeks. I haven't given up hope yet.

3.) Here I sit, at 35 weeks. Weight gain, 23 lbs. (Ugh.) I'm still having some dizzy spells and some nausea, though my mom pointed out that it only happens around meal-times. My guess is that it's a blood sugar issue. Otherwise, I feel pretty good. Sore and tired, but not more than would be expected. I'm just ready to meet this baby. I'm still fixated on names, though I give up. There is no use. We'll figure it out when we meet him/her. I did have a dream this week that we had a dark-haired little boy, so I guess we'll see... If that's the case, the baby naming will be easy. We have a name for a dark-haired boy and a fair-haired boy. We're covered. Here is a picture from Easter at my in-laws this afternoon. I'm still growing, for sure. The baby has hiccups, but not nearly as much as Patrick did. I still feel a lot of movement, which is comforting, though not always comfortable. Five weeks and counting...