Ugh.  Will I ever be skinny again?  After eating nothing but veggies, hummus, and a chicken breast yesterday (not on purpose...I was working all day), I still managed to gain a pound.  This baby is a machine.  There is no way I eat enough to support the amount of weight it insists that I gain.  So much for my non-weight-gaining first trimester.  I'm up to my average mid-way gain...plus three.  Sigh...

One Week Down...

My first week of work plus school...and I'm exhausted.  I was in bed at 8pm last night and up at 8am this morning.  That sounds about right.  On top of letting me sleep, Adam had coffee, eggs, tomatoes, and cucumbers ready for breakfast for me.  What a man, what a man.  (This might be because he's still happy that I brought home White Castle for him last night.  My parking spot for clinical is literally across the parking lot from a White Castle, and I think Adam was pleased to find out that Leo loves those little sliders as much as he does.)

Mentally, I'm worn down but excited.  What I'm into now is so far removed from what I have been doing.  The slow clinical days, the 20+ page patient care plans...it seems as though those are behind me.  I can't stress enough what a pleasant surprise that is.  However, what I'm exposed to takes my breath away.  The unfortunate outcomes of life, the bad decisions that snowball into a failing body at a terribly young age, the addictions, denial, family interactions...it's all complex...and I don't mind at all putting in the extra hours to learn/help/work/see/experience.  Nine weeks to go...  At the same time right around the corner and lightyears away.

I had my first dream about the baby last night, which seems a little early.  (In my dream, the baby was born a girl.  I was adamant that it was the wrong baby...that mine was a boy. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.) Twenty weeks down and twenty to go.  By the time I'm able to sit down and prepare for it, I'll only have ten left!  This might be the fastest pregnancy I have ever had.  With everything else going on, it seems like time just slips away from us.  Still, the baby moves quite a bit and Adam and Patrick were able to feel it for the first time this week.  Patrick is so excited to be the "biggest" brother, and is still convinced this baby is a boy (I tend to agree.  Adam does not.)  The electric shock phenomenon lessens every day, and while my nausea still exists from time to time, it's pretty rare.  I feel dizzy but good otherwise.  However, if my hips don't stop growing, I may have to bind them. 

I wanted to go into work today.  I really did.  I'm not scheduled, but I thought if I went in today, it would free up a day this week and that would have been perfect.  But I didn't go to work today.  I am...sigh...tired.  Truthfully, it's probably for the best.  I wanted to get some laundry done, pick up a few things from the store, and rest up.  So far, I have only half-way completed the rest up part.  I hope there is time for the rest, because...sigh...I don't feel well.  (Do I sound like I'm complaining?  I am.  Well, whining, really.  I really am fine.  Just fine.  I'm just being a baby and Adam--God bless him--is letting me and is busy around the house folding laundry and getting ready to run errands.)

Moving on, you have to see these pictures...my two sweet, though sometimes rotten, little boys.  Thanks to Katie Marsh (http://www.photosbykatiemarsh.shutterfly.com/), we got some great photos of the boys to commemorate their 3rd and 1st birthdays.  Simple and sweet.  My favorite combo.  (Thanks, Katie!)

                                

PS- A giant sigh of relief and congratulations to everyone for surviving the Rapture last night.  Unless, of course, we were all just left behind...in which case...uh-oh.  (To be honest, at 6:02 last night, after mentioning to Adam that it had passed, I thought to myself, "Uh...wait..? Is that not good?"  The kids are still here, though, so we're ok.  Whew.) 

My pinning is in two months (give or take a couple of weeks)!  Because of limited ticket issues, and a bizarre set time in the middle of a week day, I sent Adam an email to see if he would make it.  His response made my day, and I even shed a tear (eh...still a little hormonal).  Here it is:

I will be there because you are amazing and I love you and you make sacrifices for your family and you are good with our children and you drink all of our Diet Coke and you have a nice van and you make me laugh and you make a cute nurse and your pinning is on a Friday and I will tell Patrick to cheer loudly and Leo probably won’t know what’s going on and we will celebrate all of your hard work and I will buy you a [nice gift] and Indy is a bad dog and Leo’s 1st birthday party was a success and you are still my honeybee and I need to show you more often that I love you.


I’m tired…

Thank you,


Adam Walden

Reasons Why Three-Year-Olds Are Awesome

With every age, I find myself thinking, This one might be my favorite.  As Patrick is just starting off his third year (well, I guess his fourth, technically), he has become a load of fun...and very, very smart.  No really.  (He's also very mouthy and super-sensitive, but we're focusing on the positive here.) 

Here are a few reasons why Patrick at three is truly fantastic:

1.) "Hey, Mom.  I saw your phone on the couch, but it was dead.  I plugged it in for you." 

2.) "I think we should just go to your room and snuggle for a while."

3.) "You really are beautiful, Mom.  Even when your belly gets to be really fat, you'll still be beautiful." 

4.) "Just look at Leo.  Look at that cute little baby.  What a cute, cute baby."

5.) "Do you want to watch 'Jersey Girl' again? That was a really good movie."

6.) When I just asked him to tell me something good about himself, he replied with pride, "I fart in my pants sometimes."

This kid rocks my socks off.  So does his little monster-brother (whose physical strength, for the record, is not something to be messed with.  That kid belongs in baby cage-fighting...and I would not even mention that if I didn't think he'd win.  Every single time.  That tiny man is super-human.)

Leo is Just Plain Cute

Not to leave Leo out, here he is, with his new favorite snack, the mandarin orange.

Patrick Does Marley

Patrick does his best rendition of his favorite song:

Adam and Patrick Talk Puberty

Adam got me a new Xoom for Mother's Day.  On that Xoom is a video camera.  In playing with it, we have taken some cute videos of the boys. This one is a personal favorite of Patrick, if you get past the hair growing on his "weiner-penis" part.  When you live with all boys...well, it's what they like to talk about.

May, May, Party Today?

Wow.  Neglect.  Sorry about that.  This week just kind of got away from me, as it was jam-packed with "stuff."  From Leo's birthday, to Katie's surprise birthday party, Mother's Day, new job...we've been a little on the busy side.  Here are some highlights:

                                                                  Leo's Party!

Then, came Katie's surprise birthday party:

This one is classic Katie dancing.  Tired and pregnant, I am sorry to have missed this.  I am happy, however, for the proof that the dance party that ensued was excellent.  Please see my brother-in-law, Alex, and friend, Chris, below.  Truly excellent.  Happy birthday indeed!!

And then, Mother's Day!  Our annual mom/kid photo:



Then, this week, I started my new job.  While I haven't started "on the floor" just yet, I honestly feel as though I'm going to love it.  I feel like I'm where I am supposed to be.  And, although I am probably ten years older than most of the other students I was hired on with, it's a great group of people who certainly don't take this awesome opportunity for granted.  Things are good. 

We also had our first ultrasound (this post is truly a hodpodge...my own fault...sorry again.)  Things went well.  The baby is in a transverse position, laying horizontally, and facing my spine.  Getting a good picture was rather hard.  We got a couple, though!  (There was an interesting position required for any possibility of a face shot, but we managed.)  At one point, the specialist was called in to look at a "spot" on the baby's brain...a dark black area in the left hemisphere that made my heart sink.  However, the specialist confirmed that it was completely normal and nothing to worry about.  Still, I left with a feeling of dread, which only now has started to fade.  I hate that, thanks to an overwhelming interest in Mother/Baby classes, I have now been formally educated about all of the things that can go wrong in pregnancy.  I hate it, but I'll get used to it.  Our child-bearing days won't last too much longer, anyway.  I guess that's good, as far as the excessive worry goes. 

BUT, things seems ok.  I went in positive this baby was a girl (this entire pregnancy has been very different), but left the ultrasound positive that it's a boy.  We don't know for sure, so I guess we'll see!  (Either way, I am really excited about the name, so I am happy that we're covered there.  I hate having a great name that we can't use, but I'm happy that both a boy and a girl would have a pretty strong one.  Good feeling.)  Here are a few pics of our new little one, measuring about a week ahead (they all do), and kind of smiley, though I don't think we got any good pics of the practice smiles. 

So, there it is!  That's a summation of the last week.  I'll try to keep things a little more updated in the future.  Promise.  



I did it, and not badly, if I say so myself.  It's over.  The semester is behind me.  And it feels good. 

Finals Week

Here we are, Tuesday of Finals Week.  With two classes down (that will be three by noon), I have the mother of all finals still before me, scheduled for tomorrow at 10am.  I am not too worried, as I would have to terribly fail the final in order to get the non-passing 74.9 in the class, but I guess stranger things have happened.  I would assume, however, that come tomorrow at noon, this horrible semester will be behind me.  And good riddance.

My new job starts on Monday, and though I'm slowly realizing what I have signed on for (roughly a minimum of 68 committed hours per week spent out of the house, not including time for projects, papers, or studying), I keep reminding myself that this is temporary, people have survived worse, and, really, there isn't another place I would rather be.  I'm excited and terrified and nervous and ready all at the same time. 

My pregnancy is moving along, into the 17th week now.  Here is (kind of) what the baby and I look like:

I feel good most of the time, but when I don't, I really don't.  We've accidentally referred to the baby by name a few times (Adam and I both), so committed to one name in particular, that I hope it doesn't lose it's appeal before October.  (No, we don't know what we're having.  I promise you that.  We both feel strongly in one direction, but that's always subject to change...and we could, of course, be wrong.)  The strangest part of this pregnancy are these sudden "electric shocks" I experience frequently.  While I don't know what the technical term would be, or even if there is one, that's the best way I can describe these sensations.  (I googled it, naturally, and came across the "Lightning Crotch" phenomenon.  While it sounds similar to what's going on, I promise you it has nothing to do with my crotch.) 

Instead, in the upper portion of my abdomen, and especially at night, I experience these electric sensations with the smallest movement (mine, not the baby's).  It feels as if someone touched a live wire to my stomach.  While I wouldn't describe it as painful, it's very uncomfortable and, just last night, made me laugh and cry at the same time, frozen in fear that if I moved, it would happen again.  My best guess is that there is a compressed nerve somewhere causing these jolts and my hope is that, as the baby grows, my uterus will shift, and that compression will be relieved.  In the meantime, I don't mind dealing with it; the surprise of it is worse than the actual sensation.
 
We go back to the doctor on Thursday morning.  I'm hoping to get an ultrasound scheduled in the next few weeks.  I'm ready to see what's going on in there and to make sure that everything is fine.  I feel movement fairly frequently, especially over the last few days.  While that's reassuring, it's always nice to have a visualization of the baby, and the peace of mind that things are progressing as I assume.

My fingers are crossed for luck across the board, from today through Thursday.  It's a big week, I guess!  It's time to close one chapter and move on to the next, and not soon enough.

Leo, at One

As has become tradition, here is a list of things that describe our Leo, now age 1:

1.) Starting to become very attached to his blankie
2.) Very quiet, affectionate...
3.) ...with a hot little temper
4.) Big, in size 24 month clothes and 6.5 shoes, with most of his length being in his torso (gets that from his dad).  He also has big hands...that reach/throw/tear apart everything.
5.) Seemingly made of steel; very little can stop him or hurt  him
6.) A good climber
7.) Taking many steps (5-7 at  a time), but not fully walking yet
8.) Hair still continues to come in slowly in an auburn color, with loopy little curly around the back and sides

He loves:

1.) His new sippy cup!
2.) Patrick
3.) Adam and me
4.) His routine
5.) Bathtime
6.) Snuggles
8.) Tickles and rough-housing
9.) Going outside
10.) Feeding himself (any and all food.)