My first week of work plus school...and I'm exhausted. I was in bed at 8pm last night and up at 8am this morning. That sounds about right. On top of letting me sleep, Adam had coffee, eggs, tomatoes, and cucumbers ready for breakfast for me. What a man, what a man. (This might be because he's still happy that I brought home White Castle for him last night. My parking spot for clinical is literally across the parking lot from a White Castle, and I think Adam was pleased to find out that Leo loves those little sliders as much as he does.)
Mentally, I'm worn down but excited. What I'm into now is so far removed from what I have been doing. The slow clinical days, the 20+ page patient care plans...it seems as though those are behind me. I can't stress enough what a pleasant surprise that is. However, what I'm exposed to takes my breath away. The unfortunate outcomes of life, the bad decisions that snowball into a failing body at a terribly young age, the addictions, denial, family interactions...it's all complex...and I don't mind at all putting in the extra hours to learn/help/work/see/experience. Nine weeks to go... At the same time right around the corner and lightyears away.
I had my first dream about the baby last night, which seems a little early. (In my dream, the baby was born a girl. I was adamant that it was the wrong baby...that mine was a boy. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.) Twenty weeks down and twenty to go. By the time I'm able to sit down and prepare for it, I'll only have ten left! This might be the fastest pregnancy I have ever had. With everything else going on, it seems like time just slips away from us. Still, the baby moves quite a bit and Adam and Patrick were able to feel it for the first time this week. Patrick is so excited to be the "biggest" brother, and is still convinced this baby is a boy (I tend to agree. Adam does not.) The electric shock phenomenon lessens every day, and while my nausea still exists from time to time, it's pretty rare. I feel dizzy but good otherwise. However, if my hips don't stop growing, I may have to bind them.
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