1.) October 17, 2005: Just the day after my parents' anniversary eight years ago, Adam Walden took a leap of faith. (Considering our history it was as gutsy as it was not. As if that makes any sense at all.) Before we get to the anniversary, however, I must preface it with this: The week before the 17th, I closed my eyes in the shower and prayed. It wasn't a general prayer, it was a specific one. I prayed that I would have another chance to make good with Adam. I also promised that I would do everything in my power to make it work and to not screw it up.
(At this point, Adam and I barely spoke, as if we had nothing to say to each other.)
Fast forward four days or so, and Adam called me out of the blue and asked that we talk. He was very vague, but we agreed to meet at his house that Monday. It was to be October 17, 2005. The Colts were playing. I had Mr. Freckles, my English Setter, with me. And we sat on the back porch together, and he said this:
I don't know your favorite color anymore. I don't know what kind of music you listen to, or what you do for fun, and I probably don't even know a lot of your friends. But I do know the girl you used to be, and that's the girl I want to marry.
That's one hell of a way to ask for a date, right? Well, it worked. And even after he dropped the L bomb on our first date a few days later, I stuck around...because he was Adam...my Adam and, even at our worst, we're soul mates. And the rest is history.
2.) And, speaking of our four kids, Annemarie is almost two months old! She's an awesome baby, growing much faster than our William did. I think she looks the most like Leo, though her complexion and hair are more like Hatch. Her brothers are still crazy about her, and though the nicknames are starting to wane, we still call her Carla. And by "we," I don't mean just Hatch. All of us do. Baby Carla.
She's such a happy baby, patient and content. When she falls asleep, it's all I can do not to squeeze her for hours. She is so cozy and loving. Check her out:
I went back to work recently and, though I was a little worried about leaving Annie with Adam, along with the other three (who have proven to be kind of a handful), things are going really well! She finally took to a bottle, and so long as someone is loving her, I hear she does fine without me. I miss her when I'm gone, though. Physically, I mean. My arms get used to holding a baby or having one close by constantly, and 12 hours without her is kind of a long time. It's a ridiculous obsession going on here. (And, boys, if you are reading this when you are older, rest assured that I felt the same about each of you. Leo, before your middle child syndrome kicks in, know that I held you for four months straight. You're being ridiculous. Stop it.)
3.) Leo and Hatch have become the best of friends. I mean, the best. Patrick is still the boss of the boys. But he has his own agenda. He likes rules and he likes for people to follow them. And Leo and Hatch think that is just asinine. They don't like rules. Things like "Don't color on the walls," "don't jump on the furniture," "don't play ring toss with the chandelier;" these are ridiculous to them. These boys are tough and wild and invincible. And, while they are trashing our new home, Patrick is coloring quietly at the kitchen table, drawing amazing little pictures of monsters or boys playing football and completely oblivious that the house is crumbling around him. God love that kid. (And the others, fine. I'm sure God loves Leo and Hatch, too. Though I'm sure He shakes His head and says "what were you THINKING?" probably as much as I do.)
4.) What else...? What else...? Oh! I started a new workout program, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I really like it, but I want to be committed to it before I give a review. I feel good, so that's a bonus. I'm trying not to be hung up on the scale because a.) it's unhealthy and b.) I'm proud of what this body has done. I have four amazing kiddos. So, I don't look how I want to? Fine. I have what I always wanted, so it's a fair trade.
5.) And, finally... I have adopted a new life mantra. That is:
And, though it's my lifelong goal to find absolute Zen, you and I both know that probably won't happen. The story is in the journey, though. I'm trying to make peace. I'm trying to be a good person. That would be a good legacy, right? My home life is good. I've got that part down (Ha! Ok, no. I don't. But I try.) But I'm working on the outside...the bigger circle, if you will, and, if it kills me, I'm going to nail it. And if I don't, I'll at least show my kids an example of how to be happy and open and forgiving and loving. Loving. That part is the most important.
Life is good. It always is. Crazy, chaotic, an absolute mess, but it's good.
Love.
No comments:
Post a Comment