One Week Down

One week of nursing school down. Admittedly, I was nervous to nausea on Monday night, the night before the first day of classes. I left the house an hour early...hair secured, minimal makeup, clothes pressed, few accessories (this one was hard), all trying to sort-of conform to the "dress code" that wasn't officially in place just yet. I wanted to build my confidence.

For Tuesday, it worked. I faked my confidence fairly easily. Even I kind of bought it, and I made it through the day...and the next one...and the next. Overall, it went well. Our first exam is on Tuesday, and a paper due on the 26th. I have 180 pages of textbook reading to do today, not to mention go to work for a few hours, clean my house, do laundry, etc. My problem is that I'm tired to the point of sheer exhaustion. I am in a fog. I'm trying to work through it, to focus and pull it together. I took a day off from work today to do just that...and it did help a little. I just need to keep up with it. I am so committed to pulling through this that I won't allow myself to fall behind, so I know that I'll get through it, exhaustion and all. In four weeks, clinicals start, which is a whole other hurdle, but I'll do it.

I don't know where I would be without the support of our families, though. My mother, sister, father, brother, Adam's mom, sisters, cousin, even Kelly R. have volunteered to help with childcare, which seems to be one of the most complicated parts of this puzzle. Without them, we'd be in a much more complicated situation. My appreciation cannot be described.

Obviously, at this point, I'm still very overwhelmed. I don't know that I won't be at any given point. It's no matter, though. This sounds silly to write with a graduation date at least 18 months, if not 20 months, away, but I can see the end of this. It seems so close. We'll close out this semester, the baby will be born, we'll have two weeks to recover, and then it's back to school again. Once the first birthday rolls around, I will be studying for my NCLEX and (hopefully) trying to find a job. I'll have the nursing degree no more than weeks in my future. It seems almost surreal.