Today is Thursday.  It started out like any Thursday; Leo started to make noise around seven, so I pulled him into bed with us since I was starting to wake myself.  A few minutes later, Patrick's bedroom door opened and he crawled in bed next to Adam.  For a few minutes, the four of us laid there with our eyes closed in perfect peace and quiet until Adam had to get up and get ready for work.  Leo fell back to sleep, so Patrick and I watched a couple of episodes of Spectacular Spiderman (or whatever the official name is; I don't know) and ate breakfast.  I had two eggs, Patrick had two toddler-sized bowls of granola, an apple, and part of a Pop Tart.  While Patrick was a little preoccupied by Spiderman, I went out back and started to power-wash the deck.  Not 10 minutes passed before Patrick was at the back door asking what I was doing and if he could watch.  I figured it was best to just come back inside.  Leo must have woken up from the noise outside the window, so we played with him for a while and talked about the party this weekend.  Patrick asked for a snack and then went down for a nap a little early so that we can run a few errands this afternoon before traffic gets thicker and stores get crowded.  I crawled back into bed with Leo (asleep again), and started to read the last 50 pages or so of my library book, due back today.

As I finished the book, I put it on the nightstand and I just started to cry.  It was the first book I have read for fun in probably a year, but that's not why.  Honestly, I don't know why, exactly; I looked around our bedroom, cleaned and new; at our sleeping baby, breathing quietly, at the row of textbooks lined on my dresser, and I realized that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  The last few days have been leading up to this, I think.  First, an overwhelming sense of gratitude, then a much-appreciated and very touching compliment from my neighbor, and a reaffirmation from my mother on my recent career-change plans--it's all come to a head.  I'm working part-time at a rewarding a very fun job; I'm able to be the 24-hours-a-day, hands-on mother that I wanted to be, I have two perfect and happy kids, a hilariously funny and goofy husband who adores me as much as I adore him, my health, a family that people would probably kill for (my in-laws included), and really good and true friends.  Eh, I could use a bigger house, more money, and to lose 10 pounds, but we're happy.  Exuberant, actually.

Five years ago, I would have never seen myself here.  Not ever.  Maybe in a glowy fairytale-like thought, but not in reality.  Five years ago, I couldn't see that this is what my parents wanted for me; why we butted heads so violently.  I didn't know there was more to be had; truthfully, I probably would never have known, but I found it.  I mean, I really found it.  It's enough to take a step back and realize that my entire life is a miracle.  Every bit of it. We've had plenty of road bumps and bad days, but in the end (and as a whole), I really don't think life gets any better than this.  We are very, very blessed.  Overwhelmingly blessed, it seems.

Be grateful for the kindly friends that walk along your way;

Be grateful for the skies of blue that smile from day to day;

Be grateful for the health you own, the work you find to do,

For round about you there are men less fortunate than you.

Be grateful for the growing trees, the roses soon to bloom,

The tenderness of kindly hearts that shared your days of gloom;

Be grateful for the morning dew, the grass beneath your feet,

The soft caresses of your babes and all their laughter sweet.

Acquire the grateful habit, learn to see how blest you are,

How much there is to gladden life, how little life to mar!

And what if rain shall fall today and you with grief are sad;

Be grateful that you can recall the days and joys that you have had.

- Edgar Guest