I had my "Orientation" clinical day for Mental Health Nursing today. At least, that is what I think happened. To be honest, I have no idea what really happened today, aside from being on a locked unit with no restroom access. Seriously. It's all a blur. (It's a long story and, rather than offend or tell stories, let's just leave it at that.) As I left a little early (nice!), a part of me wanted to sneak off with my extra two hours, go order a pile of fried pickles and a beer, and sit by myself in silence. However, I came home...and indulged in some ice cream and Bavarian hefeweizen. That'll work.
Adam, the optimist, tells me that good came out of my day. He could tell that I was a little on edge as I walked through the door, and he insists that I discovered a field that is certainly not for me. I sort of knew that already, but he's right. Now I know for sure. This is not to say that nurses in this field aren't great. They are! Oh, they are incredible. It takes a very special type of person for this job, and I know that it's not me. It just isn't. Twenty more hours to completion of this clinical requirement, and that's okay by me. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll... Ok, I hope it'll be fine.
When I was interning at an inpatient psych unit my senior year at Hanover, I spent some time on the locked unit - it's really unnerving! The nurses were in this office in the center of the unit, and the patients would just circle round and around and around. I felt like sharks were swimming around me waiting to attack! I feel your pain is what I'm trying to say! I hope you get to spend some time in the children/adolescent units - while very sad, they are much better than the locked unit!
ReplyDeleteYour experience sounds fairly similar to mine! I'm sure once I get a little more sure of myself, the experience will get better. It's the constant, "What am I supposed to say?" that makes it so hard. I hate second-guessing myself and I hate the thought of offending someone unintentionally. I'm feeling much better about it today. A little reading did me good.
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