Date Night

Last night was Valentine's Day for us, which meant a dinner out without the kids; it was a bonafide Date Night.  And it was fantastic.  For an hour and a half, we had adult conversation that only touched on the kids a few times.  We found that we had a lot to talk about, which was a nice surprise, considering that most of our conversations center around who ate, who slept, who needs a talking to, and who needs to be where and at what time.  For under two hours, we dated.  I love it. 

Adam and I have quite an extensive history, but, for the sake of simplicity, we'll say we've been married for four years and together for five.  For those five years, we have been on a mission to make this family and to do well for ourselves (not monetarily well...just well.)  We want for nothing.  We work for everything...and I mean everything.

I laugh a little when I see status updates (FB, naturally) that refer to "Eight years of marital bliss" or the like.  Let's be fair.  Nobody has pure marital bliss.  We all get on each other's nerves.  We fight.  We argue.  We sometimes don't like each other, and that's just the simple truth of it.  So it goes when you live with people.  It was that way growing up with siblings and parents and it's that way now with our own families.  It's just life.  Though we have had a few knock-down-drag-out fights (two, to be exact), and more minor fueds than I can count, we live by rules that help to keep us in line.  If you know me, you know that is just how I am.  I'm a planner.  It's the way I live and, thankfully, Adam rolls right along with it.  Here are our rules:

1.) Be nice.  Whether or not we want to, voices stay low and we stay kind.  No cutting words.
2.) Share everything.  Everything we have is ours.  Our bank account, our savings, our retirement, our cars, even so far down the line as gift cards...we share everything. 
3.) Every decision is a joint decision.  Granted, there are things I don't know anything about (the water heater.)  I refer all of these decisions to Adam.  Though this part drives him crazy, we discuss everything.
4.) Kiss every day.  At least once.  There are times that I might roll my eyes at the same time, but we do it.  Sometimes, that little bit of affection is enough to cut any tension.
5.) Surprise each other.  We buy cupcakes for each other.  We make meals for each other.  In short, we help each other out, we lift each other up, we try to make some days a little more special. 
6.) Focus on what we have.  It's so easy to get caught up in what someone else has, what they're driving, their new job, their kid's fancy shoes, but at the end of the day, it's us.  Nothing else matters.
7.) WE'RE A TEAM.  This one should actually be #1.  It's the driving force in everything we do.  We might not always agree, but we're a team and that's just how things work.  More than one fued has been brought to an abrupt halt with one person saying, "We're a team.  Let's act like it."  I guess you could say it's our mantra.

Life is not perfect, but it's good.  We're always a work in progress.  What helps, though, is that we work together.  We have common goals.  Now that we've reached a few, I can honestly say that there are few greater feelings than that of a goal reached together.  We have a long, long life ahead of us, God willing.  At this rate, I feel pretty confident we'll be sitting pretty at 90.  Maybe not pretty, and more reclining that sitting, but you know what I mean.  Long live Date Night.