I am having the absolute worst time shaking this funk. It's now lasted a couple of weeks and I still feel like I'm flailing in oil trying to get out. Call it hormones, call it stress, call it debilitating perfectionism...it's probably all of the above. I'm just waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. Waiting...
In the meantime, I find myself grumpy, irritable, and with a very short fuse. The worst part is that I know I am being unreasonable, and it takes everything in my power to work past it. I don't want to be grumpy. I really don't. I don't want people to apologize when they call or to warrant worry in anyone. I really am fine. I am. Trust me. I just need to get things organized, come up with a plan, and work out a way to make all of the pieces of this life-puzzle fit--school, student "work" experience, clinicals, study-time, and trying to manage childcare for all of the above. I know we'll figure it out; we always do. There is always a way to make things work. I just need to see an end to this; I feel cheated that I don't have time to appreciate all of the great things we have going on. Our cups runneth over. I know that. I just want a few more hours in a day to recognize it. In less than a year, all of this stress and hard work will have paid off. I can appreciate that, at least. I just don't want to look back with bitterness because I missed out on these wonderful years, and right now that is a major concern.
Ugh, cue hormones, for sure.
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